Goodbye Summer. Hello Fall! This time of year can elicit cheers of joy or groans of misery. Why? It’s back to school season, whether the kiddos started in August or September. My offspring are now young adults, but their lives still revolve around school. My youngest daughter is in her 4th and final year of college and I can hardly believe she'll already be graduating. My oldest daughter has started teaching Pre-K -- the kids are sooooo cute!
I'm "going to school," too, taking a 12-week live online class. No, it's not a Bradley Method series (ha, ha, ha!) It's called Soul Cartography. I'll be learning how to create a visual journal and tap into the themes and symbols of my life - exploring more of the essence of who I really am from a new and different lens.
If you have little ones, I know you probably don't have much time for yourself or for classes for personal growth. I've so completely been there - I hear you! A lot of the growth of my own self-awareness over the last two decades has come from the experience of mothering and also helping y'all through teaching and supporting your process. Now that I'm am empty nester, switching gears and thinking about what I actually need or want is a whole new way of approaching life. Sometimes, I'm not sure I remember exactly how to do it, so it's a process.
I am naturally a creative person - I enjoy making things. However, unless there is a deadline or pressing purpose (like a Halloween costume for the kids or guests coming over), I often put off starting projects that might give me great satisfaction to do "just because". There has to be an impetus behind it. Without a class that I need show up to each week or a time limit (which usually means it needs to be done for others), I'm generally just going to find an excuse not to do it.
I had written in my newsletter that I was going to spend more time concentrating on my writing. Well, I gave up my writing group for a bit and what happened? You guessed it. Not much writing. All sorts of "pressing" needs and obligations other than writing claimed my attention and filled the void of the abandoned writing group. A plethora of excuses (good ones - it wasn't like I was binge watching Netflix and eating bon bons) were put forth to avoid paying attention to what I said I was going to pay attention to. Does this happen to you?
There is a solution. Being in a group or class gives me permission to do what I want and need to do for myself. I'm not doing yoga if I'm not in a yoga class. I'm less likely to dance and feel fully embodied if I don't show up to the to the group synergy I find at LA Dance Collective on Saturdays (my favorite - feel free to join me there!). I will often avoid writing, even though I strongly feel this niggling inside of me to do it, unless I know I need to present something in a group or workshop.
By taking a class I have accountability, structure and, yes, a real reason to do the the creative work. It forces me to step into another place outside of everyday obligations that would otherwise consume me and this allows me to focus on other parts of life that are important to me -- to literally fill my soul (love the name Soul Cartography = a soul map). By investing in a class, I'm investing in myself.
Each consecutive week of three months, I'll be showing up in real time with other like-minded folks also taking their places in their Zoom boxes to concentrate and delve into other aspects of life that I love - art, creativity, psychology, the subconscious and our connection to something much larger than ourselves and the cultural messaging around us. Showing up in class is just part of it. Most of the work is done outside - the homework of painting, gluing, writing, drawing and intuiting. I have to put in the work in. Showing up is not enough. The class will keep me on track and I'll have created something meaningful to me at the end of that time.
This is one of the reasons I feel so passionately about teaching a Bradley Method series. It is a way longer course than other childbirth prep classes. Yes, it's 12 weeks, too. Sometimes a few teachers forget why the length is so important. The pressures to run a business and cover costs can lead a few to make cuts somewhere in the course. Sometimes couples don't understand why the course was designed for this length of time. It was always based on the way we are designed a humans - it literally takes that amount of time to create positive changes in our minds and body.
Both personal and professional experience have proved to me why these 12 weeks are so important for pregnant mothers and their partners. The time we spend together in a Bradley Method course is precious and unique. It gives each family permission - yes, permission!- to honor this very important time and transition for themselves and their baby. Without this class, many couples or pregnant mamas might find their time swallowed up by other competing or superficial forces that don't necessarily have their family's best interests at heart.
Setting aside special time over those three months - a whole trimester of pregnancy - gives you focus and accountability. Each week spent in class you are reminded to practice the skills you need for your labor and birth. It allows you to bring attention to all that needs to be done and to be more prepared for your little one and the enormous changes and responsibilities that are required. Bringing a baby into the world is so much more profound than our modern world let's on. We don't want to throw this time away.
Ultimately, Bradley Method classes are about giving you the time and the space not only to have the tools necessary to navigate through your birth and early parenting experience together as a team, but also to afford you the opportunity to tap into your own inner knowing so you can make the most of this time of preparation. In a world that is constantly trying to erode our confidence in ourselves and our own abilities, a safe space to reminded us of what we are capable of has immense value. It is a commitment of time and attention to take a 12-week Bradley Method series of classes. Ultimately, it is a commitment to yourself. And to your baby. It's worth it.
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